ISBN:
0553447718
Title: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Pdf A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
Author: John Mordechai Gottman
Published Date: 2015-05-05
Page: 295
"An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent -- and long-lasting -- marriage." -- Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence"Gottman stays refreshingly down to earth, rather than on Mars and Venus."-- Bill Marvel and Geoffrey Norman, American Way"Gottman comes to this endeavor with the best of qualifications: he's got the spirit of a scientist and the soul of a romantic." -- Newsweek"Twenty-five years of landmark marital research."-- USA Today"Offers something every relationship can benefit from."-- Seattle Post-Intelligencer"Astonishing new research!" -- Woman's World"Debunks many myths about divorce . . . reveals surprising facts . . . enlightening!"-- Amazon.com JOHN GOTTMAN, a leading research scientist on marriage and family, is emeritus professor of psychology at the University of Washington; executive director of his laboratory, the Relationship Research Institute; and cofounder of the Gottman Institute. He held an NIMH research scientist career award for twenty years. Dr. Gottman is the author of more than two hundred professional journal articles and forty-two books, as well as the recipient of numerous prestigious awards for his extensive contributions to marriage and family research.NAN SILVER is a former editor in chief of Health magazine and coauthor, with Dr. Gottman, of What Makes Love Last: and Why Marriages Succeed or Fail.
With more than a million copies sold worldwide, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages.
John Gottman's unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy.
Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else.
Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
Interim Review: 7/2/2017: Seeing a marriage counselor and he said he uses this book and its tenets all the time because it's so effective, based on scientific research. I got one each for my husband and myself. We enjoyed doing the exercises at the end of Chapter 4. I read the hopeful parts of the book, the truly practical things couples do to improve and enrich their marriages and, thus, their lives.Sadly, then I read the chapter on "why couples don't make it." Shoot...they mostly apply to us. I analyze and nag too much, my husband is critical and snide all the time and we've let our friendship dwindle to low ebb. We've been married for over 2 decades and it's hard to see us change enough and in enough time to avoid divorce. We're both that miserable.The beauty of the book is that it provides excellent analysis and descriptions of both success and failure in marriage: literally, the author and all professionals who apply these principles can predict whether or not a couple will be able to resolve their conflicts successfully or not within a very short period of time based on how they treat each other. Certainly, the marriages that can seem destined to failed can be turned around if both spouses embrace the process and are willing to work on THEMSELVES and not so much try to "fix" their spouses. So clearly explained, all problems (and ALL marriages encounter problems...you newlyweds are kidding yourselves if you don't believe this) can be divided into the Solvable and Unsolvable.Obviously, by definition, most Solvable Problems can be solved. And it doesn't have to be that Unsolvable Problems lead inevitably to divorce. Sometimes the problem can't be changed by either party such as one becoming ill with cancer or diabetes and the other can't abide having a spouse who is ill. But even having a "mixed marriage" such as 2 conflicting religions can be worked out if they ignore their families' and friends' condemnation and agree to adhere to either or both religions--together or separately--and doing the same for children.Even couples who can't agree on whether or not to have children or cannot procreate themselves to the sorrow of either or both spouses can be resolved well enough to stay together and be happy. If nothing else, Unsolvable Problems can make the marriage stronger if the parties turn to each other in love and for support instead of turning away from each other in anger or sorrow.It's all a matter if you require to get your own way on every issue or allow yourself to build up ginormous resentment by always being the one who caves in to your spouse's demands, supposedly just to keep the peace. That's not a peaceful existence.Right now, I'm not sanguine that it'll work but my husband and I will both give it the ol' college try. I'll keep you posted.Just In Time Read this book just when I was about to give up on my marriage. It turns out that there have been so many things I took for granted and this book helped me realize exactly what my husband and I have been doing right, what we've been doing wrong and what else we can do to strengthen the bond. This saved me from so much marital grief and frustration.Better Marriage Overnight I've only read about half of it, and we've only done the first exercise, but I've already seen a huge difference in the way my husband and I relate to each other. We both feel lighter & happier & way more positive about our marriage and the future. The author's approach is different from everything I thought I knew about marriage counseling, but makes so much more sense. Just reading the 'myths about marriage' in the first chapter was eye-opening and worth the cost of the whole book (luckily for me there is much more equally valuable info in every chapter). Frankly, I think it's also making me a better friend: instead of reiterating the doctor's positive attitude for my friend going through a difficult pregnancy, last time we talked I just listened and validated her feelings. To my surprise she seemed happier just to have me say "I'm sorry you're going through that, it IS scary." I'm so relieved to have found this book and would make it required reading for every couple if I could. I'm grateful to the authors for writing it and the couples who spent time in the labs that helped bring these insights into consciousness.
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